investing in yourself
Skipping was my gateway drug to running.
I’d gone from an endometriosis flare-up, to a skipping challenge, to signing up for a marathon.
When I say I went from 0-100, I wasn’t exaggerating. Some would say this was not smart, but you’re the only one that can define your limits. Everyones endometriosis looks different, and making a better decision for yourself could look as simple as taking a shower that day. I’m definitely not here to make anyone feel useless, this is my own experience. I’m here to provide light at the end of a dark tunnel. To be a cheerleader for those thinking about getting active, you still can.
During my skipping challenge, I had thought many times about running. It didn’t take long for my algorithm to be full of fitness content, and a lot of it was running, like it had read my mind. I saw all these women running in really cool places, how amazing it made them feel - they looked like machines. I knew immediately that I wanted to be “that girl”. Now I had a new goal, and it was something I really wanted, so much so I put off doing it. That might sound odd to some, but this was something I really wanted, so I knew that I had to wait for the right moment to go out and run. The wrong timing could kill the dream almost instantly for me, so I patiently waited so I could be sure that I would leave the house, run, and love it.
I waited until my skipping challenge finished, didn’t want to overdo myself and kill the motivation. I even waited another month, sitting on it.
It all fell into place, the day arrived. Nobody talks about how strange it is to leave your house and just start running. For some reason, I felt embarrassed, like everyone that saw me would know I was out on my first run and I would somehow look like I didn’t know what I was doing, wondering who I thought I was. This resulted in me walking to where I would run, do a lap to test it out and walk back home. The reality is, no one cares about your running, they also have no clue if you’re on your first run or your 100th run.
That day was when I knew I had in fact waited for the right moment, I knew immediately, I was addicted.
I ran one more time that week and applied for the London Marathon. Sounds extreme, given not only my lack of running history, but also my lack of fitness. It was the last day to apply, I had to decide. That’s when I chose to invest in my future self. Between then and the marathon, I had a year, which seemed less insane. I was buzzing with excitement for what it meant for my future self. I was so happy I loved what it was I had been really wanting to do. Again, this might seem odd to some, why would it be in question that you might not love something you really want? But there was so much that could have meant I hated it; being new to fitness, the discipline that this new hobby requires - something I had never had to have before, accepting the lifestyle changes that come with running and specifically marathon training - this can really impact your close social circle, and quite simply that I had worried for so long that I might actually just go for a run and hate it. Not to mention the reality of endometriosis physically stopping me and ending the dream there and then.
My optimism clouded the fact of how hard it is to actually get into the London Marathon. I even spent the following weeks training before I got the result of the draw. I did not get in, which will come as no shock to anyone that enters the majors. I was already in the headspace that I was going to run a marathon, I was committed. I could have still run the London Marathon if I was running for a charity, but I didn’t want the pressure. I wanted to keep my head down and do it for myself, I was the charity. I also didn’t want to publicise that I was running a marathon, I thought everyone that knew me would just laugh at me. “Flo, running a marathon ….. lmao!”.
I didn’t know where to start with looking for marathon events, it was all new to me. I came across another runner girl on Instagram, Hannah Trenches, she was training for the Florence Marathon, I was quickly influenced. The Florence Marathon was in November, it was currently June. I had five months. I entered it. It felt like it was meant to be given it was my actual name, Florence. I loved that this was going to be my first marathon, I soon got over that I didn’t get into London.
I spent 5 months visualising the finish line, it kept me going through the long runs. I was so excited to show myself and others that I was capable of more. My endometriosis symptoms started at age 19, I am now 34, and between ages 23-28 it was a rollercoaster of symptoms, hormones and surgeries. I still have the same best friends now, my boyfriend of 16years had been and still is my rock and biggest cheerleader. This marathon, the training, the finish line, it felt like a love letter to all of them. I could finally show everyone I was made of more, all the years they had stuck by me wasn’t wasted.
You will never regret investing in yourself.
Florence Marathon 2024